the end is near...

The title for this blog seems a little drastic to what I am actually going to talk about so don't panic! What I do mean is that summer is coming to an end which means no more beach days, camping, swimming, tanning and sun. Summer went by so fast and now school starts in about a week and a half. It's hard to believe that 4 months have gone and now back to the 8 months of school and majority of it winter. On the bright side though my last day at the Deli has finally arrived :) How I feel about it? Well, great. Yeah I am going to miss some of the people I work with but not going to miss the job that's for sure. It's nice to know I don't have to work there for the rest of my life. But on that note it means summer is coming to an end and it means back to school. I am excited to move back to Toronto. Already know the area, the friends I had made, the course I am in and I got the Master bedroom in the apartment I am in. Step up from last years room which was tiny, no window, more money and with centipedes. I am scared for second year of college because in my fourth semester there will be a field placement. I hope I find a company that will take me on and I hope I can do well. This field placement will help make decisions on whether this field is for me or not. Get to experience the real work field and see what actually goes on. So many things to stress about but also lots of things to be excited about. I am being positive this is going to be a good year. In the beginning of August I filled out applications for a few scholarships and if I get a letter from them in the mail it will mean I have got a scholarship. So I am hoping I do because any money would help pay for my school this year. 4 months of working has only been able to pay for my rent and not tuition. I also signed up to win a MAZDA 2 with Scene.ca. I am not usually lucky but I am seeing myself with scholarships in my hand sitting in the front seat of my new MAZDA 2 driving to Toronto for my second year of College ;)

The One with the Rose

This photo is me and I took it Valentines Day 2009. I did some editing with it and I like it. It looks like something you would use for Twilight. With their book covers using red images and black background. Could be a photo used for a DVD or book cover. Something about the eye that grabs my attention not so much the rose. If you have an opinion go for it and tell me.

Leadership Comes with Great Responsibility

This week the Deli hired three new employees to help cover up the loss of 3 other employees who either wont be working there anymore or just part-time. I didn't want to do any sort of training with these new employees. I just wanted to stay out of it because I didn't think I had the right to tell them what to do or show them what to do when I was, before them, at the bottom because I was classified as the "newbie". But of course I some how had to show them how to do things. After getting into that position I was stuck. Thursday night my Manager came back for the evening to help do closing training. I was doing training all day with them and she watched me train them while she was there. I didn't know if I was doing a good job or showing them how to do things the way she liked it but I did my best. The next day at work she gave me a compliment I didn't expect to hear. She said to me "You did really well with training them last night. You were patient and just great with them and thank you so much for your help". I haven't gotten too many compliments from her in a while and when she said that to me it made me feel so good inside. I felt like I was finally being noticed that I know what I am doing, I am a good worker and I am not useless. She gave me the task of training them more that day and letting them be my shadow. She gave me the great responsibility to be a leader and train these new employees. Something came over me like this whole new me. I felt mature, confident and felt like a leader. I am a person who just wants to help people and when I saw them struggling and they wouldn't ask I would go up to them and make sure they were okay. I would encourage them and compliment them when they were doing a good job to help boost their confidence. I told them if you are in doubt or don't know ask. It's better to ask and do it right then not asking and getting told off for doing it wrong. Some of the other workers hate the new people asking them what they should do all the time but I don't mind. I rather help them then watch them struggle. If they don't ask they won't learn. If we don't help they wont learn. Yes there are people who can annoy you but sometimes you just got to suck it up and be patient with them. If I was a teacher there will be one or two students who are just bad and don't listen. But you can't give up on them. People are so hard on the new people so quickly before giving them a chance. Remember when you first started it took a while to get the hang of things. When I started I wanted people to be easy on me so I treat the new employees the way I would want to be treated if I was new. It might take some people longer to get it but they will get there. Almost every employee in this Deli have 2 weeks to show if they are good or not. There is a lot to learn and I think they should be given a chance. Feeling this leadership and having them come to me on what to do next or when should they take their break, or how to do things was so strange at first to have everyone come to me but at the same time felt good. Even one employee who has been there longer then me asked if they should do this cleaning task at that moment. I never get asked. I was thinking tonight if maybe this is another sign becoming a teacher is what I should do. I told someone about this and they said you would be excellent at a teacher. You need to be a leader, confident, patient and want to help. Maybe I would make a good teacher in the future. Even if I do I will probably be 26 or so before I actually had my own class to teach. By then I would be more mature and have a lot more confidence then I do now. So given the task of training has made me think more about who I am and what I could be good at. My Grade 1 teacher told my mother that I was number one leader in the class and when my mom told me this when I got older I couldn't see myself ever being a leader but more of a follower. But I think deep down inside me there is a leader in me just waiting to burst out. I just need to figure out what to do to bring the leader inside me shine.

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery & Today is a Present

Stressing is a common activity I do in my life. I can stress about the littlest things at times and I wish didn't. When I read back all my blogs I have written in the last couple of weeks I realize how confused and worried I am about my future. The other night I had a campfire with my family and I talked to my parents about the things that were worrying me. Especially the one about what I am suppose to do in life for a career. Talking to them helped so much and made me think in a different way. Instead of being negative and stressing I am now being positive. I will find out my purpose. It might take longer then others but it will happen. I can't just mop around thinking about what do I do next and just go out there and try. When I complete my college course I am still only 21. I have the time to decide to try new things. My goal for 2010/2011 is to complete college with honours again and no stressing about what will happen next year and just wait until the moment comes. Wasting so much time thinking and stressing about what could happen in a years time is not the way to go. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a present. So enjoy what is happening in your life right now, don't think about the past and stop worrying about the future.

The other day I thought of a story and at first I thought I would write a book. But of course I am not patient enough to write out a book. I just want to get the story out there. So I decided to make it into a movie script. I have thought of the whole story board and it could change while writing it out. Its a hobby and you never know it could be read by the right person and actually become a movie one day. I don't usually like people reading my stories or telling them about my ideas. Always afraid of the shut down saying its stupid or it will never work. But after starting to blog and sharing many of thoughts in my mind I am beginning to share a lot more then I used to. I am exited to write this movie script and hope it turns out the way I imagine it.

When I broke my leg last year I became depressed and got cabin fever. Even though I knew I would heal and life would be back to normal eventually at that time I didn't see that. So one day I decided to do up a vision board on everything I wanted to accomplish or do in the year. So I set goals for myself. A vision board to remind me to stay positive. I had things like heal my femur, go to Humber, good grades in College, get a summer job, get braces off, go to Wales, earn money for school etc. After months gone by it was christmas time and I came across my vision board. When I looked at it and saw everything I drew out I realized that I had done everything on that board. At first I couldn't believe it but it felt so good. The law of attraction. They say if you are positive your life good things will happen but be negative and bad things will surround you. If you want to try setting goals for yourself or what you would like to happen start by writing down what those goals are or be creative and make a vision board. You can use magazine cut outs or pictures from the Internet. Its a board for you to vision what you want to accomplish and do in a period of time. After my experience with my first one I believe in the law of attraction and actually thinking of doing up another one. Try it out and you never know.

So to conclude this blog I believe a sign will come to me to tell me what I am suppose to do in this world. I sometimes think loving being with the children in my cousins primary class is a sign or maybe wanting to write a movie script is a sign. Who knows right now. But as time goes on things will just fall into place. I will continue being positive and believing God will be there to direct me in the right direction. I am just so glad I have a loving family who cares so much and a great boyfriend who is always by my side and to great friends making me smile and laugh when I need it. Life is good so enjoy it and stop stressing!

BE POSITIVE!